Gratitude, whenever asked about it people will automatically start to churp off the “normal things” (not that there is anything bad about that) like family, my health, my job, etc. Very rarely if not ever do I hear anyone say anything about themselves, I’m grateful for my ability to listen to other, or I’m grateful for my ability to talk to anyone. In most of our minds, we think it to be selfish to talk about ourselves. Now, of course, it can be impolite to dominate a conversation about how awesome your life is and how you project your success as the way. That’s a different conversation than “I’m grateful for this in me because…”, this is where the deep conversations start to happen. Open up your language about what lies deep within yourself and get the wheels spinning in a positive direction to those that you converse with. Let’s start reframing the way we respond to this with an internal reflection o ourselves and what we give to people as our gift to the world.
Insight Through Trauma
I’ve thought a lot about this lately especially since my wife and I are coming on our first anniversary of her affair coming out and how it is the most significant pivot point in my life personally. It’s tough to look at such sadness/ trauma and pick out some lessons and what wisdom is to be gained. Sadness can often be a great insight and an enhancer of what your true essence is and what you believe in or stand for. As an example in my mind (wherever that pressure may have come from) I could never stay with a woman that commits an affair, this goes against what I held tight as a high value within myself. There were two huge lessons that I had to face and find what my real truths were one; my values and expectations are NEVER 100% in line with others, two; I have more forgiveness than I gave myself credit. This awoke and highlighted attributes about myself that I took for granted and didn’t acknowledge the real beauty that was me.
No Self-Love Without Communication Internally
Back to the gratitude conversation, anytime I have had the opportunity to have an in-depth discussion with an individual about their life its commonplace for people to give credit to everyone around them for where they are today. While I believe this to be a huge part of why humans make a particular decision early on in life, and it’s also vital to give some gratitude to those people but do not forget to pair that with some self-love. The conversations that you have in your head need to start showing some appreciation to what you have brought to the table. I often ask “what have you added to their life from you?”, this question has always carried the reactions of pure shock, terror, and fear.
Take Credit For Your Beauty
A friend thanked me for showing this year “a masterclass in compassion and forgiveness and fearlessness,” I’m grateful for these characteristics that sit within me. To acknowledge what you are grateful for internally is starting the conversation about self-love, how do you love yourself without communication? I’m grateful for my willingness to have uncomfortable conversations internally so I can have a better understanding of the people in my life. I’m grateful for the discipline to continue every day to honor my body, create purpose, and seek knowledge. Most of all I’m grateful for the love that I have for myself that is backed by my daily actions. So the next time you are presented with the question of “what are you grateful for?”, try sprinkling in a little bit of yourself because you deserve some credit for how beautiful you are.